Seldom do I share my personal Life on my business platform; however, an old friend once told me, “drastic conditions call for drastic measures, Lisa.” I laugh at this today as we were coaching middle school, female, athletes at the time. EVERYTHING is drastic & dramatic in that realm. lol. This drastic time is different, and I feel an intense desire to share, so I’m rolling with it. So many friends, near & far feel a weird “something” – sadness, strength, worry, fading hope, love, despair – something for sure and truly it bonds us All, we just don’t always talk about it.
As a pro-Photographer in Upstate NY, I travel through winter months as means to supplement my income. If you’ve ever lived in an area where people hunker-down in the cold chill of Winter, this makes perfect sense as clients and neighbors begrudge facing the weather to buy essentials; forget about getting dressed up with their Family in tow for an updated portrait of their chilled-to-the-bone loved ones. Let’s be realistic!
This year during my work travels, I honored a wild itch to further my education and within a 2 week time frame, I was smack-dab in the middle of an intensive program even farther from home. Buried in studies, trying to re-establish some presence of a working office, this pandemic hit. In my early 40’s, I made a paradigm shift in the way I choose to see & respond to most Life events. This World event challenged my newly found thinking and stirred a struggle I could barely mutter to myself. My daily meditation, which always started with “We are all connected, We breathe the same air” veered from the path of enjoyment to the path of necessity to keep my focus on… Anything! Let’s just be human and honest; I’m miles from home in an intensive “bootcamp,” my career is dangling on sketchy internet & a wobbly night stand/makeshift work station and my 78 year old Mother had been in & out of the hospital the entire month of February. I was MEDITATING for far less than ENJOYMENT!
In this program, I was surrounded by a small network of people who became much like a Family. This Family was from all over the US and World; Russia, Oregon, Alaska, Costa Rica, Vermont, Switzerland- you name it, one of them was from somewhere. My roommate was a business owner from Seattle, Washington. Yes, ground zero for the US virus outbreak. If I needed information about COVID 19, I had reliable information in minutes. Following the recommendations of the World Health Organization, we too were eventually closed down and given the option of staying put or returning home.
If things weren’t difficult enough in my internal struggle, the Universe just added coal to my fire – or rather I added it myself. If you ever have the opportunity to know me, you’ll quickly learn I’m flighty and have a lifestyle that allows me to follow my whims at the drop of a hat. So, I’ve done a bit of traveling. You’d think that’s amazing and truly, IT IS! But in all my whimsical travel, I’ve gotten myself into predicaments I’d rather not been alone and so I’ve established a fear of flying. Not the actual, “get up in the air and stay there until your final destination” flying. No; more the logistics of security, the sitting on the plane for endless hours only for the flight to be cancelled nearing midnight, or the waking at 3 a.m. to make an early flight so you aren’t stranded in an airport late at night ONLY to wait the full day in the airport midway to your destination and then be stranded in the airport nearing midnight, this time EXHAUSTED. You create the scenario, I promise, I’ve lived some form of that dilemma in the airport… Alone.
My “Family” began to pick up on this Fear… might have been my pacing, maybe the incessant need for chocolate, or might have been my roomie overhearing me say, “I’d sit curbside in Newark, NJ all night before I would sit IN THE AIRPORT for 24 hrs during a World Pandemic!” Who knows, who cares; I was freakin’ out and it wasn’t a matter of muttering it to myself anymore. It was a matter of spilling it all over the place and into the Peace of the people around me.
I reached out to my network all across the US and took my meditative practice to the next level by booking a Bee session with author, Juls Amor. With the last of my money, except $20 I saved in cash for traveling, I laid atop a bed of stingless bees in effort to raise my vibration and shake the Fear long enough to ride a 2 hour shuttle, get on an airplane in an international airport and drive 4 hours in the midst of a pandemic in the mid of the night… Alone. Juls was as uplifting as an angel from the Heavens and I left the session with this mantra… “I’m protected- We are all protected.”
All of this sounds crazy as I type, but really, this is just a Life experience. I can’t make any of it up because I’m living it, as are you. Why would I share this story as it seems I’m adding chaos to the current chaos?… because it’s Life. It’s not that any of Us have perfect Life tools to manage because we added a mantra to our meditation. It’s how we learn to see and deal with Life and how we connect with those we’re already fundamentally connected that changes the chaos. This process for me is ever-evolving and today, You are apart of it.
My flight was cancelled 10 minutes prior to riding the shuttle and I was given a later, same day option or a next day option. I turned to Brit in my educational Family… “get on or stay? Talk to me, please talk to me!” “This shuttle gives you 8 of us in which to ride and walk through security… I say GO with Us now!” On I go. 2 hours later, we zoom through security and 6 of the 8 board and fly away. It’s down to Ellie and I. Little does she know, the hug she gave me when it was time for her to board was so encompassing, it could have filled the airport. She just didn’t let go and you guessed it, I felt “protected”… amongst travelers with face masks, 5 feet social-distancing announcements, disinfectant wipes and rubber gloves galore! Hours later it was my turn and every Fear I had played into fruition. If you’re thinking I melted to pieces, you’re dead-on accurate. It’s what happened next that carries today’s message.
The plane was almost full to capacity and we sat on the runway for just under 2 hours waiting for an extra, but unnecessary flight crew. If 5 feet social-distancing was required, we shot that rule right out the window! I tried to meditate, but felt stifled while breathing deeply as the woman behind me repeatedly tried to muffle her cough. One hour and 45 minutes into the wait, I had closed my eyes and buried my hands in Juls’ book, “The Year of the Frog.” “I’m protected, we are all protected,” I just kept saying it over and over and over. The loudspeaker breaks my pattern, “Hey! This is Captain Andy again from your flight crew. It’s occurred to us that you’re not aware of why we’re waiting so faithfully for this crew… You are on the LAST flight out for THIS airline from THIS airport.” Behind closed eyes I begin to sob desperately – the kind of tears that if you weren’t silent would project from your eyes like an animated character in a children’s cartoon. My thoughts are racing. “This plane is NEVER going in the air! I’ve done this before. They’re going to delay for as long as they can and then ship us back into an airport that will become a make-believe homeland of quarantined international vagabonds! Nooooooo way! No, NO, Nooooooooo!”
At that moment, at that very moment when I was debating frantically climbing OVER the refined elderly couple next to me and running hopelessly down the center aisle to WHAT – I have NO IDEA, but I was running anyway… I heard a voice, soft and even-toned, “Honey, are you ok?” Unaffected but tuned in, I reply, “Hmmmm, no.” “Are you afraid because I’m elderly and sitting next to you?” “Hmmmm, no.” “What can I do for you right now?” Eyes still closed, trying with everything I have NOT to burst a spray of tears all over the back of the seat in front of us, “Hmmmm…” Silence. Nothing came out of my mouth! Mind still racing, I think.. she’s waaaaay to kind for me to ignore – Who has this much kindness right now??? Eyes closed, “Ma’am, my name is Lisa… are you a therapist?” All I could think was HOW on Earth did I land a seat next to a therapist????? As calm as she began, she replies, “my name is Brenda and No, I’m not a therapist, I’m just old as can be.” Opening my eyes to turn and look at this Being – fearless in her 70’s, it was as if someone shot a sedative straight through my veins. “You and I can’t swim home so I thought you should know, Honey, we’re going to New York… tonight!” Without anything else from her, “I was protected.”
24 hours later I arrived at my front door in NY, exhausted but grateful… for Juls, Brit, Ellie, Brenda & and all of Us. I’ve wanted to tell that story to all of Us for days, but I kept it to a select group of friends and family because I thought it was too chaotic to add to the uncomfortable reality we’re living. Really though… it’s NOT. It’s exactly what we need right now… to know that everyone of Us, US or Worldwide (that I’ve chatted with) is staying home, doing their part, and feeling “something.”
Don’t be misled, I fully understand I’m including myself in those sentences above using the word, “Us.” In sharing with you, I’m reminding myself. The thing we’re NOT right now, is ALONE despite the reality that we’re confined to places that would make Us feel… Alone. In isolation, whether warranted or welcomed… Fear grows. I was not Alone on that plane. Some fascinating Universal energy sent Brenda to that seat next to me and with my eyes closed, I felt her Peace. Yes, touch is a beautiful thing and I long to hug you All, but for now, “we are not only ALL Connected and Breathe the same air… we are Protected.”
It’s important to me that you understand, I’m not sharing this Life experience and message from a seated, Guru position of enlightenment. Quite the opposite… I share it with Us as a way of processing it, as a way of connecting, and as a way of trying to see the Light I know is hidden in this time of chaos. In meditation today, tears quietly fell down my face as I realized every conversation I had yesterday was filled with COVID 19. If we aren’t infected, who are we kidding? Our minds are infected- or I’ll speak for myself – my mind is infected with Fear. I would praise a news channel to put a “Brenda” or a “Juls” on the prime time reporting hour and watch the Universe heal emotionally. For today, I encourage Us all to part with Fear, or to at least acknowledge it and let it sit in the Air to dissipate like the dark smoke it is. My tears in meditation are Fear and my resistance to sit in meditation is my resistance to that acknowledgement… I am afraid of what is happening around me.
… and with that honesty, the Fear lessens and the Reality sinks in… “we are not only ALL Connected and Breathe the same air… we are Protected.”